I did it

Well, the opportunity came today.

First of all, I will just say that the torture of the unknown is over with. My mind is at ease.

I saw my dream boy today. He came into the store where I was. I felt my face flushing red. I looked cute. I knew this was my chance. I waited outside and then said hi, stammered a bit but managed to just ask him out. I felt so flustered, and was probably the brightest shade of red ever. With a slight pause, he told me he had a girlfriend.

Honestly, I feel so much better than I thought I ever would. A tremendous weight has been lifted off of me. I know, I can process this, and move right along. It's a relief more than anything. Sure, it would've been awesome if he had said yes and had been single. But say la vie. Or however you spell that in French.

I walk away from it feeling good. 1. I feel proud of myself for having the courage to do it. 2. I feel confident that I could do it again. 3. I don't need to hold on to my workspace here any longer. 4. I am FREE of this obsession! 5. I can think about better things, work more productively, and NOT leave my building every hour in the hopes of running into him.

I feel quite good, surprisingly. Moments later, I called to tell Nathan that I did it, my call was then interrupted by another boy that I went out with for coffee the other day. He called to ask me on a second date. Life is funny isn't it? Oh, yeah, I also had a really great time on my date last night with yet another boy. My options are open, and my dance card is filling up on its own. Life feels quite nice right now.

I'm just really proud of myself. I'm not a chicken anymore. I go for what I want. Sometimes I may not always get it, but I can accept this is the way these things are meant to be working themselves out in some sort of master plan.