my dream boy

I saw him again last tuesday. We had extended eye contact. I'm kicking myself for not going over and saying hello. It was months ago since I last saw him. Maybe he was on a long vacation.

Anyhow, I put up an ad on "missed connections" for him. No response. Well, actually I did get one response and was really excited, only to open the email and read that it was a couple who was looking to bring another young woman into their sex-play.

Everyday since I have seen him, I've felt lovesick. Daydreaming constantly about him, our life together, designing my entire wardrobe from our first date to our wedding. I've got it bad for him. No matter what, the next time I see him, I will approach him. Life is too short to not take risks, and it is far too painful to just daydream, sit there and wonder what if any longer. It's probably been a year since I first saw him. I don't know what it is, and though I know nothing about him...I've never been quite so drawn to someone. It means something and I need to go with it.

Maybe partially why I haven't really been that into the last few guys I've dated is because it felt too easy. There was no chase. No longing. It was just there and ready for the taking without the thrill, the risk, the oh so wonderful and scary butterflies.

This quote that I just found, so beautiful inspires and sums up what I need to do:

Go now, and live. Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You. Go now, and live.